I'm taking the Presidents of the Church institute class and this week we were talked Spencer W. Kimball. While talking about his accomplishments we started to talk about "The Miracle of Forgiveness" and the four steps of forgiveness.
1. Stop/Recognition - Stop what we are doing wrong but in order to do that we have to realize that we are doing something wrong.
2. Confess - We have to tell the person we've wrong and all those involved.
3. Restitution - We need to correct what we've did wrong.
4. Forgiveness - We need to forgive the wrong that was done to us and forget it. We must forgive ourselves and not dwell on what we've done, forget.
Elder Cottle asked everyone what they thought was the hardest step and everyone decided on confessing and forgiveness. I think it depends a lot on the situation and where we are in life. I have found each step to be difficult in a different situations and different times of my life. At times it's hard to realize what we are doing as wrong and even then some times we rationalize why it's not that bad. Stopping can seem near impossible because it is a habit and we do it without thinking about it. After we have realized and stopped it, it is time to confess. We know it's bad enough that we have done whatever it is we have done, but now we have to tell person(s) that we've wronged whether or not their were aware of it. This one is difficult because we don't want people to think badly of us and if we tell them it might lower the respect they have of us. Somethings we do may seem impossible to correct and can become overwhelming. Sometimes the hurt is deep and we don't want to let go and give the person another chance and find ourselves not wanting to forgive them. We think we forgave them but still hold it against them, forgiven but not forgotten. Sometimes we forget to forgive ourselves and let every action be dictated by our guilt.
Forgiveness can become complicated if you don't go through the process and even then it can be hard. Without forgiveness everyone would be in trouble so do yourself a favor, use it and don't hold any grudges. Forgiveness is the key.
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9 comments:
See? Toldya I'd find your blog. I like the pretty colors!
Anyhoo, nice post. Forgiveness is a hard thing--whether you're seeking to give or receive it, it's never easy. That's why it's a miracle.
Would say more, but I'm on a time limited computer, so gotta go!
Later
Kay, I'm back.
The "forgiving and forgetting" thing is a tricky one. I think it's important to take note of Alma the Younger's repentance and conversion. He says, "I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more" (Alma 36:19). Personally (and this is just my opinion, I suppose), I don't think Alma ever forgot about his sins; though the memory was no longer painful, I think he still remember all the bad things he had done. Memory is instructive; if we lost all memory of each sin we repent of, we'd probably make the same mistakes over and over again without even knowing it. I think that, when people truly repent, they can look back on bad memories and say, "Oh yeah, I'm never doing THAT again," and then they're filled with gratitude because they realize that they've become much wiser than they once were.
I think that this is also true of forgiving others. Let's say I wreck my car, so you, being the nice person you are (I assume), let me borrow your car. Let's say I then wreck your car. Years later, we've both saved up enough money to buy new cars. Let's say I wreck my new car and ask to borrow your new car. If you've truly forgiven me for wrecking your last car, you will be free of all hard feelings and we can still be friends, but I hope you'd be wise enough to say, "Look, I'm your friend and I'm willing to help you out when I can, but I will not let you borrow my car." I think that's perfectly okay--no, I think that's really pretty wise. I think that you'd have to be pretty dumb to loan me your new car--I mean, I've already wreck three cars; nobody in their right mind would lend me their car, regardless of how new it is!
It's hard to force yourself to forget something--impossible maybe, so I don't suppose anyone really thinks that that's what we're supposed to do--but I think the real challenge in forgiving others is in holding on to memories that make you wiser without clinging to feelings that make you bitter.
So. Yeah. That's my two cents--or, like, dollar fifty--or whatever....
You know that was the anwser to my question (How do you truely forgive someone and learn from the expirence so it deosn't happen again?). No one could give an answer that compeletly anwsered it. Thanks! You must be a mind reader.
Scary thought....
Oh wow... Very deep. I especially like the part about confessing, "This one is difficult because we don't want people to think badly of us..." I know that's the part that I always have problems with... ^.^;
Ooo... I like your comment Schmetter. Very nice.
Awesome, both of you!! ^.^
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Hhhh. I hate (so to speak) running into bloggers I probably (at least sorta) know in real life but have no idea who they are. It's a mystery frustrating to contemplate.
I know what you mean.
You are so eloquent, did you know that?
I guess it makes up for me being accendent prone
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